I held him accountable to call and he said I didnt trust him. is he hiding something or just really not down with me knowing his business? Are You In Love Or On An Emotional Roller Coaster? Been off and on with my ex for six years. Take The Quiz: Is He Losing Interest? However i'd be texting other people and they were getting them. I refused to contact him I didnt want to give him the satisfaction of knowing he got to me. Honestly, I have no idea. Experts say there are countless phone-related signs of cheating. He hugged me, and kissed me good bye.And I have not heard from him since. Obviously, he was playing games. I met this man, who is a few years older and lives abroad, yet he seemed perfect for me. Here's what to do when he disappears, and how to change the way you approach men and relationships. We hit it off immediately and despite the distance, he pursued aggressively. A text message reassuring you takes 15 seconds. Incompatibility happens. but I have put up with enough of this behavior and no he is just taking the piss, you know its first signs of emotional abuse, its shit that there are people out there like this. Thanks for sharing your experience with the disappearing act! A man who is not accountalbe when thats what he expects is not worth my time. I told him on Monday that I can't stand him doing this, and that I am concerned for his health. as he is still MIA, so i know he has had issues with finances, stress, friends and family, so iv been very tolerant and patient because it hasnt been easy. The last time we met up, he hinted at a relationship but I hinted no. Was he once all about you, telling you that he could see himself with you forever, that you were everything he was always looking for in a woman, and now, hes avoiding you? We were living together at that time, not anymore. I didnt chase him and went quiet also. Look at his texts. He yelled, whats going on with you tonight? But for right now, Im going to go back inside, and be with my friends. Are You Picking The Wrong First Date Outfits? I called and after two rings it went to voicemail which meant he declined the call. BUT, remember ladies, after the third time of having a man pull the disappearing act on you, youre no longer a victim. Maybe there was a way we could meet up? 12) They think you're not compatible. Goddess energy is welcoming and inviting; it makes him feel like youre at home with him and that you can be yourself with him. The tree-energy exercise is where you grab nourishment from the earth to self-soothe and feel emotionally "fed." He had so many fun (and expensive) activities lined up for us. The truth is that no woman is good enough for a guy who comes on too strong in the beginning. Could be for days or even weeks. Kath and her boyfriend find a mysterious younger couple already there the rental has apparently been double-booked. I met a man who says all the right things, he held me accountable to calling and staying in touch earlier when we started messaging. He then asks me if hes reading too much into the lack of communication, even though it was him that had ignored me. Proof or no proof of cheating, you deserve better than this! He finally spent a weekend with me and he talked about being with me seriously, planningfor the future, etc He left my house, said hed call and didnt call the rest of the night. We're Everything will be ok tomorrow. Im glad you set a cut off time for yourself and I hope you stay optimistic in your search for love! He leaves comes back leaves comes back. When you move in the relationship, you lose your power. Not getting a response to your texts or calls is never a good sign. On the night of April 25, 2009, 17-year-old Brittanee Drexel of Chili, New York, United States, left a hotel in Myrtle Beach, South Carolina, where she had been staying with friends over spring break. We went into this crazy fast though. Dont beat yourself up though, weve all been there caring about a man that wasnt worth our time and wishing he was giving us more attention or treating us better even though we really just need to move on. Admittedly, I did get a bit teary eyed, because hed never yelled at me before, and I had a few drinks in me too. Then two days ago, he texted me saying Aye in which I didnt respond. You are worth so much better, no matter what your age is!! The real question you need to ask is whether you want to spend the rest of your life with a man that keeps walking out of your life? But now that youve acknowledged this, things can really get better from here!! I didn't hear from him for the rest of the night or the next day. Youre actually right, expressing your experiences and feelings, whether written or verbally is a great and healthy exercise. He also says he does wake up for a bit and gets food/takes a shower. If your boyfriend, or the guy youre dating, doesnt return your phone call sometimes, thats a huge red flag that you cant write off or ignore. It will make him work hard to make you happy and feel your appreciation. I told him I liked him but but felt lost since he doesnt take the initiative to text or call me first. Ive been seeing someone for 8 months. I find that strange. Ghosting has existed since the dawn of time pretty sure I once saw a cave . I said because i wasnt expecting to hear from you and he asked me why and I explained. Thanks for checking out my post and I wish you all the best in life and love! He is hiding some of his friendships with women from you, a big red flag; and 3. And its proven. Ladies, how many times have you been dating a guy and while it seems its going well because youre hearing from him everyday or every other day, all of a sudden he disappears and you hear nothing for days or a week? The content produced by YourTango is for informational and educational purposes only. You dont need to reconsider whether you should date this guy just because he keeps popping back into the picture. I have asked him everytime if you feel that you need time alone, put my mind to rest and just say so. She was last seen by her family on a video call on February 24. I really appreciate you opening up about your relationship and I hope everything works out for the best!! Dating this guy for almost 9 months..5 weeks ago he was telling me he was thinking about going back to a bad relationship with a woman who packed up and left him almost a year ago. Sure, but like then that's all he has to tell her. My Boyfriend Slept With Someone Else While We Were Broken Up! prescription goggles specsavers bodhi ayurveda and yoga retreat girlfriend disappears at night Oh Ive tried to leave it alone but he persisted I was giving up something that could be great. That uncertainty just gives me anxiety. He wanted to take things slow and build a relationship and when the time was right, it could happen. Exactly! when reading your posts x. Geography may be challenging for most, but I love to travel and I am also willing to move if the man is worth it. Relationships should be a safe place of comfort and solace not a source of anxiety, doubt, and worry. I'd just appreciate the respect of knowing. I dont see him very often like 3 times since we dated. This book has great wisdom for women and you should read it at least twice!!! Time to let this guy go. He would send me kissy faces over text and tell me how amazing I was but if I wanted to have a normal conversation, he would not respond for hours or sometimes not at all. Do men reappear in your life because of sex, power and control, or self-esteem? A good man, the man you should want to be with, will come closer. I am far from a nag. I really care about this guy, so if he wanted to take a step back, go slower, or even break upwe could work it out, or just be friends, or even just part ways nicely, with some closure. I gave him the benefit of a doubt because it was a family emergency this has happened 6 * now I got covid and I was sick for for 5 days four or five days at night I could not reach him he would disappear around 8 p.m. and I could not reach him after that he would say he went to his moms house and forgot to call but he was very tired fell asleep obviously hes with another woman. As much as it can be hard to trust ourselves, you should always listen to your gut instinct. Do you think I made the right choice? Ive never been one to chase, even though it hurt I let him go. I was in heaven!! Look at all the things around you, breathe deep, and allow yourself to be grateful for their presence in your life. He prompted me to move across the country and to find a job out there. Anyway, thank you for what you wrote. Or he "ghosts" and just disappears. Its long distance and the last days I felt we were connected. She also hosted the nationally-airing, 46-episode TV talk show, the "Michelle Valentine Show". From day 1 it was no secret how much we had in common and how attracted we were to each other. If youve been a victim of the disappearing act, I want to hear your story or your thoughts! However, he didnt contact me. We agreed to have a one-time sexual fling. I really appreciate you opening up and sharing your experience. I'm debating sending him a final message to end it on my end, just for closure's sake or just letting it go. In our late 30s, I thought we were more mature than this. See additional information. You said you cant imagine living that kind of life. Youve been through a lot, and I know this because every woman has, and the hardest part is taking ownership for what you have accepted and tolerated. I am a single mom. You are rightif he wanted to talk to you he would find a way to get in touch with you, period. In 30 days time, we spent 15 of those days/nights together. he says he loves me and he knows he shouldnt dissapear and he wants to be with me BUT ALL HIS ACTIONS SAY DIFFERENTLY. He gets a lot of texts from women, he has shared about some of them but there are a couple i know about who he has never mentioned to me. Save yourself the annoyance from dealing with this unreliable guy and resist the urge to play into his disappearing and reappearing acts. We continued to flirt and correspond throughout Christmas and just before New Years he disappeared. Ok, Ive been on and off with my ex for over 3 yrs now. Most women have a weaker sense of self its part of our biology. I feel so upset. He might do the slow fade out, meaning he stops initiating contact and when you reach out to him he takes hours or days to reply. But every Monday he plays this disappearing act. One night he disappeared and did not call me until the next day he told me he fell asleep at his sisters house I told him that that was not okay that I need communication from him. Thank you so much for reading my post and sharing your experience! I feel so foolish right now that I let the guard I had up for so long to be treated like this. Every time he reappears, its always, oh, I always liked you but wasnt in the right mind set. Drexel walked to another hotel a short distance away, and from there, texted her boyfriend to say that she was . Obviously, the risk of letting your guard down is the possibility of getting hurt, but that risk is worth it if it means getting that great love you really want. This is why you will see a lot of women with 3 month rules, because they understand that you really see who a person is a few months after youve met them. Dont worry about your ex, hes living his life, start living your life again too! Then I wont heat from him for hours. also, emails dont go to his computer when im there. Even if there isn't cheating, I find it really alarming he doesn't think I have a valid reason to be angry about him regularly disappearing for an ENTIRE DAY. Required fields are marked *. Join Memphis Single Mingle For Fun, Laughter, And Love! I told him that wouldnt happen that it was an equal thing. Because they canbecause we allow men to make us into placeholders for when they finally feel like giving us the breadcrumbs of their attention. Silent Treatments) are designed to punish you. And talking and responding like normal. On our 4 th date he came over my house for dinner and we had sex.